Solstice

This winter solstice has found me crabby and tired. Is it because I am burnt out by the holiday season? Is it because the days are so short and cold? Is it just because I have found a new bad attitude that I really don't care to change? Probably all of the above depending on which minute of the day it is. Whatever the case may be, I have not found the inner peace and outward tranquility necessary to enjoy the solstice this year.

Although, it was kind of pretty walking home from work today. The snow can be beautiful when it isn't icy or blowing in your ears and eyes. The way new fluffy snow looks like icing on evergreens is enjoyable. It was a bit peaceful when I could tune out the sound of snowblowers.

So maybe I did find one minute today when I enjoyed the solstice. I give in. Thank goodness it is over - too much pressure.

I Woke Up With a Smile Today

Because I dreamed of this last night:

God Help the Human Race

In a shop I hear a couple arguing about lightsabers.
"It's light saver."
"No, it's light saber."
On and on this went unil I had to interject, "It's lightsaber. Like a saber; a sword."

I am still in shock from this experience.

I'm a Geek, Now Confirmed

Venomous Villains by MAC

Ooooooo, I am a Sucker (with a capital S) for anything Disney Villains. I would choose the Evil Queen or Maleficent over Snow White or Sleeping Beauty any day.

MAC has me so excited, I cannot wait until September 30, the day I can start shopping for the Venomous Villains makeup. I Want It Now! (Ooops, threw in a little Willy Wonka there.)

So far, I know I want at least the Cruella Penultimate Rabidblack eyeliner, the Maleficent lipglass and nail polish - not sure on color yet, and an Evil Queen lipglass and eyeshadow.

Yes, instead of eating in October, I will have Venomous Villain makeup. My thighs will thank me later. Can't wait for an entire month of popcorn, ramen and oatmeal.

I only wish that these villains weren't all so damn pale. I would like a face powder, but these evil goddesses are all too light. All of their powders are light, too.

But, that Evil Queen purple eyeshadow will be one of my favorites - I can just FEEL it.

MAC had better not run out of this stuff - I am warning you, MAC. I need my Villain makeup!

Just Breathe

Good lord, I love this man's voice.

blurb blurb blurb droooool

I guess I can tear up that application for Mensa.

Thank you DListed for making me aware of new and wonderful things each and every day.

Like this:

I Really Need to Get Cable

My New Favorite Song

I Have Just Met You And I Love You

"Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead."
"My name is Dug. I have just met you and I love you."

@DalaiLama

When they escaped Tibet in March of 1959, I believe not one person travelling with the Dalai Lama knew he would have a twitter account. I am not so sure how I feel about it until I start reading it.

Reading the comments on this account is almost like a meditation for me. I don't know who really writes the tweets. They may have a PR person in Dharamsala or even the US who takes care of such things. These tweets may be insights he has already shared in the past. The spirit of the Dalai Lama is evident and that is truly all that matters in the end.

There is something so spiritual about certain people. Now, don't laugh out loud, but Jimmy Cliff is a man full of spirit. I was right smack dab in front of the man at one of his concerts and he is a glowing human spirit torch. It is a pure, honest spirit. God has touched him and he glows. I guess you had to be there, and , no, I don't smoke anything, so bring your mind back to the meaning.

The Dalai Lama is a spiritual man that I have never met, seen, or even been in the same place with at the same time. Yet, there is something so fundamentally spiritual about him that it transcends space and maybe even time.

This is one of his recent tweets:

"I sometimes say that religion is something we can perhaps do without. What we cannot do without are the basic spiritual qualities."

Wow. That is so close to how I feel about the world and life in general. It is like he is looking down on me, a religious leper of sorts, and is telling me it is OK to be confused about secularized religion. The important thing is spirituality. Goodness. Love. Patience. I love this man - I truly do.

I own a copy of his book How to Expand Love. It is hard for me to read it in one sitting because it makes me very emotional. It is so simple yet powerful. It makes me want to be a better person. And then something happens and I lose focus and get sidetracked... So at least I know I can always look at @DalaiLama for a quick dose of calming.

Look at that face! How could you not love that face?

my footprint: carrying the weight of the world

Jeff Garlin is funny. I mean very very funny. He's one of those guys you look at and expect to laugh. Prior to reading his book, my footprint: carrying the weight of the world, I had only really been exposed to him on Letterman.

His book is out and out honest and hilarious. He tries to lose weight and become more eco-friendly or "green" at the same time. This all occurs during the filming of a season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I have never seen this show, but I will now need to track down the dvd's and give it a try. If it is half as funny as this book, I will enjoy it.

Here are some standout excerpts from the book:

"My meditation today is about being satisfied with enough. What is enough....when it comes to, say, cookies? One, a few, a half dozen? When it comes to cookies, once you get sick, you've had enough."

"I am certainly not handy. If it wouldn't take so long, I would tell you the story of when I tried to caulk and ended up with caulk in my mouth, and I called the poison control center, and they thought I said I had cock in my mouth. Well, I guess I just told you."

"Guilt makes me overeat. That's today's meditation. I have to say that, yes, I overeat because of guilt. I've overeaten because I'm sad. I've overeaten because of happiness. I've overeaten because the wind blew in a different direction."

"My daily meditation is about how we are willing to go to any lengths to stop eating compulsively. It assumes we are willing, when it should actually say that if we are serious, then we should be willing. Truth be told, it's rare for a fat, compulsive overeater to hit bottom like an alcoholic or a drug addict. No one is ever about to lose their job because they ate too much at lunch. Nobody looks in his friend's eyes and can tell he's had too many cookies."

"Every now and then I try to set an example for other people. And I mean that in the sense that other people should look at me as an example of what they don't want to become."

He is funny and after reading this I just wanted to give him a big hug. Read this book.

The Choice Is Mine

I picked up an excellent book recently - my footprint by Jeff Garlin. I will expand on my love of this book in a later post. After finishing a few chapters this afternoon, I took a break to check my email. In my yahoo mail, I had this nice ad:
None of those meals looks under 1000 calories. And, I almost always choose the deep fried cheese covered choice. Yet, as the ad says, the choice is mine, and I can choose to avoid it altogether. I just hope I make the right choice. Garlin's book is inspiring me to do this, believe it or not.

I Think I Like This New PM

"Women are not breeding machines, you know. Women are unique people in their own right. If they want to marry and have children, that's lovely. If the want to remain single and build a professional life, that's wonderful."
-Julia Gillard, Prime Minister of Australia

Good on ya!

The Princess Bride AKA How I Fell in Love with Inigo Montoya

One of my favorite movies is definitely The Princess Bride. I came late to this movie. I didn't find it until a couple of years ago when I rented the DVD on a whim. Several people had raved about this film, but I am not a big fan of Robin Wright, so I was never that interested in it.

Within the first ten minutes I met farm boy, Westley, and found a reason to watch intently. Cary Elwes has never looked better than he does in this film. He is a joy, a pure joy, to watch. He had me at first glance. He does naughty little boy very well. Did Buttercup ever say, "Take me now!" That would have been perfect followed by, "As you wish."

I was not prepared, however, for what came next. I am introduced to Inigo Montoya, swift swordsman, eloquent revenge seeker, and Captain Hook look alike. I do not know what exactly it is about this character, although the leather pants play a role, but wow, I like like like this character. I think I even choose him over Westley.

I admit, I have always had a thing for the pirate. I enjoy the romantic notion of being whisked from seaport to seaport alongside a hot pirate with long hair and a long sword. Yes, I know this is not reality. (shhhh, that is why it is a fantasy...)

Anyway, Inigo Montoya not only fulfills the pirate checklist, but he also has a funny cute Spanish accent, a good heart, leather pants (did I mention that already?), and intelligence. Mandy Patankin - great actor. Inigo Montoya - hot revenge filled package of sex.

I know, I am bonkers, crazy - fill in the blank.

Oh, and then, added to all the scenery mentioned above, The Princess Bride has an outstanding cast of characters, action, love, an identifiable bad guy who gets punished, and thousands of quotable moments. Inconceivable! No, not at all, but I had to throw that in there.

This is a great movie and I regret that I put it off for so long. I just rewatched it and my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.


And now "I must...." "Get used to disappointment."

She was a V A M P Vamp.

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

Dreams

Have you ever seen the movie Langoliers? It is scary and strange and when I first saw it, I wondered what type of deranged mind had the imagination to think of this. Stephen King, of course, is the mind behind the story. I am befuddled by how an imagination such as King's works. How in the world do you create such a story?

Did he dream it then write it? Was it a nightmare put to words on paper?

Lately my dreams have been strange bordering on King. Last night was particularly bizarre. I dreamt of a character and concept that I have never heard of before. I do not follow horror, video games, role playing, or anything that deviates from normal spiritualism. Yet, when I Googled items that I dreamt about last night, I got so many responses and images that matched or came too close for comfort. I am a little scared. I do not know how in the world I could dream of these things. I don't know if I want to continue dreaming like this. I don't know how much control I have over it.

Is someone playing with my mind? Does my mind contain memories that I am not aware of?

I have many recurring dreams. Most are dreams I can recall like favorite memories. Sometimes I will forget about a certain dream and then *poof* it just flits across my mind while I am doing dishes or watching tv. They come back like old friends for a visit in my waking hours.

I don't believe my dreams are "lucid". When I dream, it feels real and I cannot step aside to tell myself I am dreaming and change the scenario. If my dreams get too scary, I usually just wake up. I try to lull myself back to sleep thinking about laying on the beach. Half in the water, half on the sand. This works for me.

Should I research these odd dreams and remembrances? It would be like me to read everything I could find on the subject. There are many books on dreaming, however, they all feel so vague. I don't care about flying symbolism and that rubbish, I just want to know why I recall all these dreams like old friends and why I have started dreaming about bizarro ideas and things that I have never had interest in or knowledge of before.

I feel like Rosemary except I am not pregnant - for sure. I wonder if Mia Farrow had bad nightmares when she filmed that movie. That shit scares the hell out of me.

I have no idea what will happen tonight, but I am sure I will dream. Think of beaches.

Happy Birthday, You Sexy MF

Happy Birthday, sweet sexy Prince.

Origins, Beginnings, Questions

Do you ever sit in a quiet space and just think? I tend to do this a lot - maybe too much. It may be a form of meditation, but honestly, I don't even try to clear my mind, I just let it roll.



Today, out of the blue, I just wondered, "What is the true origin of language?" Not just English or Latin, but true speaking to define and announce and question - in any type of language - the very beginning. Vague? Yes. Interesting? To me, yes. And I guess to some other people as well since my Google search filled in its own search parameter before I was done typing "origins of language".


So, Wikipedia is always the first blurb that comes up (after any sponsored shopping link) and I decided to look there first because I am lazy that way.

What does Wiki say? So glad I asked: "The origin of language, known in linguistics as glottogony refers to the acquisition of the human ability to use language at some point during the Paleolithic."

Hmm, I have a history degree (ok, from a small state school) and I can't recall what paleolithic means. I will guess it is some time with hominids, but after dinosaurs.

Wikipedia, as well meaning as it may be, just didn't seem like it would answer those large philosophical and historical questions that were buzzing in my brain. And, they (or the people that post there) had a skew toward vocal language and humans and the larynx being the ultimate point for the start of language. That would rule out any primal form of sign language or communication with animals. I can't rule out the sign languages and communication with animals.

Maybe what I really want to know is how humans became aware enough to be able to communicate to others be they hominids or other animals. Yeah - that's the ticket.

Awareness. Such a concept. How do you even describe it without the ability to be aware? And animals share this awareness, don't they? They may not have the same larynx or cognitive structure to speak, but they know and can learn a vocabulary. Dogs, dolphins, apes, and countless other animals can be trained with vocalizations and repetition.

Scrolling down the page of the Wiki entry, I did finally encounter a paragraph on the Theory of Mind. Feels closer: to paraphrase, it speaks about pre-language as a time when hominids exhibited knowledge, awareness, intention and teaching. According to Wiki, this is a theory of Simon Baron-Cohen (no, not the Borat guy). Yeah, well, I am sure others were aware of this possibility before Simon published it, no offense.

Then that takes me to another level where I wonder if compassion can be learned. Is it something you must possess at birth, when life enters you and you enter the world? I think we can teach compassion by being an example of it, but some kernel of positive feeling must need to be present in order to learn this most important aspect. I have known animals with compassion - ha ha , I know, please don't laugh or shout "anthropomorphism" - I have truly seen it. Is it in the dna? Are we lucky when we are born with this or is compassion learned? I have met many humans who seem to lack it. I am not 100% convinced either way.

Compassion, awareness, communication. So important to life. So many questions left in my meandering mind.

OK, I know, I am going off on many tangents here. This is the way my mind rolls. This is my "meditation".

Anyway.... I love cave drawings. A physical embodiment and fossil of hominid communication. At least we have that.


Next question of my meditative mind....why must we temper chocolate? Off to Google, copy some recipes and research the history of the cocoa bean...

Red

Red is the color of choice for most women who paint their nails. In ancient history, Red signified royalty or higher class when worn on the nails. Nefertiti wore it. Cleopatra wore it. If it was good enough for them, then I can feel good wearing red polish. Still, this summer I am very partial to dark purple on my toes with lilac on my fingers.

Ah, .... nail polish - so much easier to change than hair color, weight, or men.


I would love to have my hands painted with Henna. I just don't think work would like it and I need my job to afford nail polish. It is beautiful, though.

Insula Dulcamara

Insula Dulcamara by Paul Klee
"Color has taken possession of me; no longer do I have to chase after it, I know that it has hold of me forever. That is the significance of this blessed moment. Color and I are one. I am a painter."

The Jungle Book

Reasons to love The Jungle Book:
King Louie can dance and sing.
Kaa is a cool and crazy snake. Shere Khan is a tiger.
Bagheera is a happy panther.
Jason Scott Lee is the live action Mowgli and he is beautiful.
Yes, yes, and yes (and I know this is a still from Rapa Nui - doesn't matter) and yes.

Gary the Snail

Meow.

The Night They Invented Champagne

I want to live in the movie Gigi.

Hemp

MA: the ancient Chinese character for “hemp,”depicts a male and female plant under a roof; cannabis inside the house of human culture. A single species answering to two such different desires - the spiritual and material.

I have never smoked anything - legal or illegal. It is just not my thing. I have hallucinated and I think I may have tried magic mushrooms in Thailand - but I am not too sure of it as they didn't seem to have any effect.

That being said, I am fascinated by psychotropic plants. I love the idea that these simple organic creations are just growing in the dirt with the power to alter the mind and being of animals and humans. Plant power.

I picked up this book at the local library - The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan. The book is basically about how plants have used humans to propagate while at the same time affecting human culture. And, yes, I am geeky enough to find it funny that a guy who writes about plants has a last name that sounds like pollen.

The book is interesting in some chapters. I wouldn't read through the chapter on apples again as it was mostly a diatribe against the legend of Johnny Appleseed. The chapter on tulips was entertaining and worth a read, but what captivated me most of all was the chapter on marijuana. I still don't understand why it is illegal. I don't use it, but I don't see why others can't use it openly like alcohol or tobacco. There is a good blend of history, chemistry, biology, religion, and anthropology in the chapter on marijuana. A very interesting read and highly recommended.

RIP Miss Dixie

The woman could definitely deliver a line. She was a great actress and comedic talent. Designing Women would not have been the same without her. It is still one of my top ten favorite tv shows.

A Peabody and Geoff, too

You Know You're a Geek When...

You find the Man in Black and Jacob hot.

I am not crazy about these actors in anything else - but I love me some Jacob and Man in Black. Something about tropical islands, beaches, ruins, ancient history and the blurring of good and evil just does it for me.

Yummy geeky fun. I love Lost.

Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
The sunshine in

Spring, please hurry!

I live damn close the the 48th parallel, and I am so fucking sick of winter, it is not even funny anymore. Not even to my enemies (of which I seem to have a never ending supply...but enough on that.)

Spring must come soon or I will end up in the mental health ward and miss the first tulips.

As an offering to the Sun God, I present the Heat Miser. Please, please,please warm me up.

Lost

Excellent.

Hurley and Sawyer and Lost (oh my!)

Yes, I am Lost obsessed. Best show on television? In my opinion, yes, because I crave it like a good novel that has the last half missing. Only I can't borrow Lost from the library in order to read the rest of the story. I can't order a copy from Amazon and have it shipped overnight. I have to wait (patiently, patiently, I tell me self to be patient, patiently) on ABC's schedule to give me only 16 weeks (interrupted) of Lost and then make me wait 8 months for resolution!

Anyway.....

Finally the magical day draws near.
What I love most about Lost are the characters. They are incredibly well written and well acted. (Exception noted for Nikki and Paulo.) I came late to Lost. I watched it in reruns the summer of 2002, after the first season. Wow, it hit me over the head and hauled me away to its cave - where I would have happily stayed through May 2010 if I could have. This show is extraordinary. All of the stars aligned when this one was born.
Against type, I was immediately drawn to Sawyer. There is something about the combination of Josh Holloway and the character Sawyer that makes my heart pound. He is extremely sexy and a conman, and just naughty and bad, but in the way women like it, of course. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't - just like Kate in season one. And then they had him walk around wearing jeans so well and looking so hot and sweaty, and just yummy. OK, so I guess I get what I like about him superficially. The fact that Josh plays him so well just adds to the complexity that draws me in. He is more than what the surface shows and this is the sexiest part about him.
Another character I am drawn to is Hurley. He is like a big puppy dog that I just want to hug, feed, and hold. I want to tell him, "It's ok. everything will be alright. You are not crazy. You are loved." I think a lot of Hurley's appeal comes from Jorge Garcia. From his interviews and his blog, I gather that he is a pretty cool dude and sweet to boot. Probably everyone that meets him likes him. Just like Hurley. Hurley is a comic relief in Lost, but he has his inner demons, too. Sweet Hurley has so many hurdles to overcome. Most have to do with his self-confidence, the guilt over the numbers, and the fact that he thinks he is crazy. My favorite Hurley scene is from Season 5, "The Lie". He sits down with his mom and confesses everything about the crash and the island and those that died and were left behind. It brings tears to my eyes everytime I watch it. I just want to hug him so hard during that scene.
People on the internet, in the office, at school, etc, talk about the relationships of Lost. These "shippers" are obsessed with romantic relationships between Kate and Sawyer, Jack and Kate, Sawyer and Juliet, and Jack and Juliet. I would prefer Sawyer for myself, but I guess, if I had to choose, I would be on the Sawyer and Kate team. It only takes romance in a dirty bear cage to win me over. And I really don't like Juliet. No, I don't.

The best relationship on Lost, however, is the friendship between Sawyer and Hurley. It is one of those friendships that must have been pre-destined in order to happen. Outside of the island, these two men would never have formed a bond as strong as brothers. They love eachother, and it has been a growing and redemptive process for both of them. One of my favorite moments was when Hurley conned Sawyer into thinking eveyone hated him, thus prompting Sawyer to become a better group member and person, and guiding him on his way to becoming a leader.
I can barely hold my anticipation for tomorrow night's season premiere. Yes, I am a spoilerhound and I have already read the recap posted for LA X, episode 1 of the final season. This will not ruin it for me, though. It helps me relax enough to notice details in the story. Plus, I will rewatch each episode at least twice after it has aired. I am obsessed with this story and these characters.
I can hardly wait!!!!!! It's Christmas morning for Lost geeks worldwide!

And then I remembered

This performance from the INXS reality show. Enjoy.

Heart-shaped Box

All that Valentine's candy typing made me want to hear Heart Shaped Box. I thought I would share.

Heart-shaped Candy

I am a sucker for heart-shaped candy. I think it tastes better than Halloween or Christmas candy - but I know it is all in my head. Valentines candy just seems like the best candy ever.

Hershey's chocolate covered marshmallow heart - mmmmmm. Reese's peanut butter heart - double mmmmmm. I even like the sweethearts, non-chocolate Necco wafer type sugary bright colored candies.

Mmmmmm...candy.

These are a few of my favorite things..... ( and I do like snowflakes that fall on my nose and eyelashes, but they aren't heart-shaped)


Brach's chocolate covered cherries are the best and are my normal present for Valentine's Day. Boring? No, not really since I love them. OK, not heart-shaped, but still Valentine related.


Cinnamon hearts - good on cookies, or good as a handful in your mouth. Spicy hot goodness.


Cinnamon Jelly hearts. Need I say more?


Conversation hearts. I used to take the time to read them before I ate them. Now, not so much. It is best to eat three of the same color at once. Depending on the brand, my favorite color is either white or orange. Pink gives the best tongue color.


The famous Hershey's marshmallow heart. Ahhh, sweet love.


The Reese's peanut butter heart. Not only rich and tasty, but also quite pretty. It is an elongated heart - a shape I quite like. Goes great with a cold glass of milk.


New addition to my Valentine's treats; the Coconut Cream Heart. Try it, you'll like it!